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When Bad Gauge Happens to Good People

You will notice that this is not a hat.

I nearly typed "good crocheters" in the title space, but realized good crocheters probably crochet a gauge swatch.  So I'll go ahead and call myself a good person who is having some bad gauge problems at the moment.  Be nice to me--I had to unravel an entire hat.

A very, very large hat. 

"You're not too big!" I told it a few short, naive days ago.  "You're just big-boned....."

I was working on the Basic Beanie from Crochet Slouchy Beanies and Headwraps.  I like the pattern, I like the way the hat was looking, and I like the yarn. 

But I completely missed the little note about crocheting a swatch to determine gauge.  I did, however, assume that since my gauge normally tracks with the requirements of a pattern that I would be fine using the crochet hook size in the book.  And you know what happens when you assume: you wind up with a hat far too large for any healthy human head to ever wear and you unravel a few days' worth of work.

I had wanted to give the hat the benefit of the doubt because it is supposed to be slouchy, but once I hit the decrease row and the poor thing still looked like a freaking storage basket I knew it was all over.

So what do you do when bad gauge happens to you?

Well, for starters you make improper gauge sound like something that just happens instead of being something you do to yourself through careless impatience. 

Then, you examine your project to see if it will fit someone smaller or larger than the intended wearer if you're making some kind of wearable item. 

Otherwise, you unravel the poor wretched creature as quickly as possible in the hopes that this will erase the memory of this great tragedy (or, you know, mildly frustrating experience.  It all depends on the kind of day you've had, I guess) and then you take that ball of yarn and you re-check your pattern and you get to work on that gauge swatch!  You will rise above this!  You will shake your crochet hooks defiantly at the sky, gather up your supplies to try again, and then tell your loved ones that this is completely acceptable behavior!

Optional: whining about it on the Internet. 

Ugh, it still doesn't fit!

That last step isn't especially helpful, but I highly recommend it.  It's good for the soul.  Or your gauge.  Or something.

4 thoughts on “When Bad Gauge Happens to Good People”

  • Beth

    Don't feel bad...Lots of really good people get in a rush and do not check gauge. ;)

    Reply
    • Jen

      Thanks, but I can't shake the feeling that maybe I should have caught on sometime before I had just 5 or 6 rows until I was finished! Eh, live and learn.

      Reply
  • Unknown

    Ergh, wow, I never check gauge either! LOL, instead, feel the Gauge, look at the head, and ditch the pattern. So liberating ;)And also, funny funny post!

    Reply
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